Two days to go before Christmas! I’m done buying groceries, shopping for gifts, gift wrapping, and all that goes with the hustle and bustle of the season, except for one thing..our home doesn’t have a bit of Christmas decor on it.
Every time I visit the mall, I’ve tried hard to look at colorful and glittery decors on display and imagined them hanging at our own home, but I just couldn’t find the enthusiasm to buy and adorn our home with them..not when my husband is a thousand miles away from us. I just feel that I don’t have to make our home appear perfect for Christmas, when in fact every Christmas without the head of the family has never been perfect. Yeah, I give away gifts, I cook food for everyone who comes to visit, I mingle and laugh with the rest of our family and friends, but deep inside there’s the hollow part that Christmas leaves in my heart..the part that only the presence of my husband can complete.
It was three years ago since we last celebrated Christmas together. Our son was just two months old and needless to say, that was the happiest Christmas we’ve ever had. Hubby and I did the Christmas lights on our terrace and we bought this very huge, beautiful, and quite expensive lantern to complete the decors. We were like children looking at the lantern at night and much to hubby’s amusement, I kept pressing the button that came with the Christmas lights to make it “dance” the way I wanted it to.
I think that’s the reason why I don’t feel like decorating our home every Christmas that hubby is not with us. I attribute the presence of the decors with his presence. I want to preserve the memory of that last Christmas decorating we did together and anticipate the next time we’ll be doing it again. Yeah, that’s all I could do for now, anticipate the next time, especially the part where we’ll be decorating our Christmas tree with our children.
A lot of OFW’s are home for Christmas, but I think a lot more are not. Those who are celebrating Christmas away from home, like my husband, may look as jolly as the rest, but as a wife of a seafarer, I know what their greatest wish is..to just come home for Christmas. Those of us who remain at home and celebrate Christmas with a loved one so far away may appear as if this is just another perfect Christmas, but as a woman who comes from a family of OFW’s and as one who married a seafarer, I know that perfect Christmas only means the coming home of that loved one.
How I look up to those OFW’s and their families. I understand how strong they are to make the best of Christmas and how optimistic they are to continue anticipating for that time when they will be home at last and celebrate the occasion with their families.
A few nights ago, I was watching Miss Universe 2012 First Runner Up Janine Tugonon’s interview on TV. She said something like it’s ok if she wasn’t crowned Miss Universe. She said that let’s be thankful; it’s Christmas and Christmas is not about her, it’s not about us. I think that’s the best mentality we can hold on to every Christmas season. Indeed, Christmas is not about us; it’s all about the birth of Jesus Christ and how He was lovingly given to save us.
I know that we are in agreement with what Ms. Tugonon said. In our hearts, we know that Christmas is all about the love of God for us and how He gave Jesus to us. That’s why we still smile and laugh even if we fervently wish to be with our loved ones. Christmas is about celebrating the greatest gift of all that is the love of God. That’s why we still have the thoughtfulness to give gifts to others even when we haven’t yet received the one gift we’re wishing for.
Yes, this is another imperfect Christmas in the eyes of a seafarer’s wife whose husband is not home for the holiday season. But that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped believing in a perfect Christmas. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped praying and giving thanks to my Creator. It just means that another imperfect Christmas is gone and the chance of a perfect Christmas is getting nearer and nearer.